Showing posts with label Conversations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Conversations. Show all posts

India’s Longest Train Journey: More Than Just the Distance

India’s longest train journey, the Vivek Express, covers an incredible distance of 4,189 kilometers in over 80 hours, from Kanyakumari at the southern tip of the country to Dibrugarh in the northeastern state of Assam. The train passes through 8 states—Tamil Nadu, Kerala, Karnataka, Andhra Pradesh, Odisha, West Bengal, Bihar, and Assam—offering a unique glimpse of India's vast landscapes and diverse cultures. Though this journey is the longest in India, it looks small in comparison to the world's longest train journey, the Trans-Siberian Railway, which covers a mind-boggling 9,300 kilometers across Russia, from Moscow to Vladivostok, taking around 7 days to complete. One day, I hope to experience that legendary journey too. For now, however, it was time to tick off the Vivek Express from my list—a trip I had been dreaming about for years.

I had thought about this journey for a long time, wondering if I should take the plunge. It’s a long ride, almost four days on a train, but the idea of completing India’s longest train journey was something I couldn’t ignore. After much deliberation, I finally managed to book myself a seat in Second AC. I have seen how crowded Sleeper Class can get, and I wanted to avoid the hassle, especially on such a long trip. I was keen on getting a side lower berth, which took me a couple of tries. Unfortunately, my booking came through a bit later than I had originally planned, causing me to adjust my travel dates.

Arriving at Kanyakumari station for the first time felt surreal.The train was already at the platform, and as I walked past the Sleeper Class coaches, I could see they were packed. I knew it would only get more crowded as we passed through Kerala, with many migrant workers from the Northeast heading back home. They often prefer this train, as it covers their entire route without the need for a change.

When I boarded my compartment, it was nearly empty. The coach attendant asked where I was heading. "Dibrugarh," I said. He looked at me, stunned, and asked if I was a vlogger or something. I chuckled and shook my head—it wasn’t the first time I had been asked that question. This was just something I had wanted to do for a long time. The journey was on.

The train moved into Kerala, and as expected, more passengers started filling the compartments. Even in Second AC, I felt a bit uncomfortable with the crowd trickling in. For a moment, I considered dropping the plan entirely and heading back to Bangalore. I started searching for trains that could take me back, just in case. But I decided to give it a night and see how things were in the morning once we crossed into Tamil Nadu.

To be safe, I checked train options from Tamil Nadu and even Andhra Pradesh, just in case I wanted to switch course. However, the TTEs were on their toes, making sure unreserved passengers didn’t overrun the reserved compartments. By the next station, the crowd had thinned out significantly. I had dinner, reassured myself, and went to sleep. The next morning, we were back in Tamil Nadu, and things felt much calmer.

More passengers boarded, including my co-passenger, who joined me around midnight from Palakkad traveling till Guwahati. He told me he works as a cook in a college hostel in Kozhikode and spoke highly about the place and its people, sharing how welcoming and friendly they are.He surprised me with his fluency in Malayalam - he spoke much better than I did. His friend was on a berth behind us. He worked as a laborer.His hands were rough, a testament to the hard work he did daily, laying bricks, mixing cement, and shaping structures that would eventually become homes.
Their stories about construction sites, long work hours, and friendships showed me what life is like for many who come to Kerala for jobs.Both of them were curious about my trip. They seemed impressed and even suggested some places to visit in the northeast. Many of those places were already on my bucket list, but with time constraints on this trip, I had no plans to explore much. I will likely save them for another visit.

Starting conversations is something I struggle with, but my co-passengers seemed friendly and eager to chat. They were the ones who brought me into their conversations. There was this girl traveling to Odisha. She worked in a factory in Ernakulam and looked at me a few times. Our eyes met occasionally, but when I saw her buying pan masala from an outside vendor, it changed my initial impression of her. Then there was another girl on the opposite berth, traveling all the way to Malda Town in West Bengal. She shared her snacks with me during tea time, and we struck up a conversation. To my surprise, she was my age, yet already had a five-year-old daughter. That moment made me pause and think about how differently our lives had shaped up—while she was managing a family, I was out here, wandering on train journeys with not much concern for the future. She showed me a picture of her daughter on her phone, a small, smiling face with two pigtails. 'She’s my everything,” she said quietly, looking at the photo a little longer.


Pantry vendors became a constant presence, offering tea, snacks, and bits of conversation. They were all curious about my journey, fascinated that someone was traveling the entire distance to Dibrugarh. It felt nice to have those small interactions along the way. All these people, from different walks of life, filled the time with interesting chats, making the long hours more bearable.

As the train rolled on, the landscapes changed dramatically. From the dry, arid lands of Tamil Nadu, we crossed into the greener patches of Andhra Pradesh. By the time we entered Odisha, I started noticing more greenery and a subtle shift in the architecture of the homes that flashed by. It was a constant reminder of how diverse and beautiful India is.

As the train crossed through West Bengal, I noticed the border fence between India and Bangladesh. It was a strange yet comforting feeling, watching life go on just across the border, not so different from ours. I found myself wondering about the people there—their stories, their daily routines. Though only a fence separated us, it felt like a whole other world. The thought stayed with me as the train moved forward, reminding me how borders can separate countries, but people are the same everywhere.

On Day 4, we finally entered Assam. The rain was pouring, and fog enveloped the landscape, adding to the already heavy atmosphere. The train had run eight hours late, and as we approached the stations, most passengers began de boarding for their destinations. I bid them goodbye—each one had been good company throughout the journey. With the fog thickening, I sensed that the delay might only worsen.

The landscape in Assam was quite different from what I had seen so far—green and beautiful in parts, but also showing signs of poverty. The cleanliness, especially around some areas we passed through, was worse than expected. My co-passenger and his friend were preparing to get off at the next station. We shared one last conversation, took a quick selfie, and then said our goodbyes as they wished me luck for the rest of my journey.

At this point, almost 90% of the train had emptied out, and the once lively coach now felt silent, with only the occasional sounds of vendors passing through. I realized something—this journey had begun with an almost empty coach, and now I was ending it in much the same way, sitting quietly in an almost empty coach. It felt like a full-circle moment. But this time, I wasn’t alone. I carried with me the stories, smiles, goodbyes, and fleeting moments of connection with people I never thought I would speak to.

We finally reached Dibrugarh, nearly six hours late at midnight 2 a.m. As I stepped out of the train, the wet platform shined under the dim lights, and I felt something shift inside me. The journey, which started with nervous excitement, had ended with a heart full of stories and connections I hadn’t expected. Watching the world drift by, sharing meals, and exchanging goodbyes had made the delays and discomforts seem trivial. This trip wasn’t just about covering 4,189 kilometers; it was about the moments of quiet reflection, the unexpected friendships, and the sense of fulfillment that came from finally ticking off something I had long dreamed of doing.

I had been worried that my room booking might get canceled since I hadn’t shown up by 11 p.m., but luckily, everything worked out, and I got my room.As I settled into my room with the rain still hitting the window, I couldn’t help but smile. What began as a solo adventure had turned into something much more meaningful. Sometimes, all it takes is one long train ride to understand that no journey, no matter how lonely it seems, is ever truly taken alone.











To the Love That’s Still a Stranger

I haven’t met you yet (or maybe I have?), and I am not sure how this will all begin. I am not the most outgoing guy, so if we do meet, it might be in some quiet corner, away from the crowd. I wonder if, like me, your eyes brighten at the thought of losing yourself in a great movie or finding peace in solitude, but even if you are completely different from me, I believe it could st ill work.

I am not the loudest or the most expressive, but I feel deeply. I love in a quiet way, but it’s a love that’s constant and unwavering. You might not always see it in grand gestures, but you’ll find it in the little things I do.

 I don’t expect much from you. You might have your own set of scars, stories you prefer not to tell, and songs that bring back memories you would rather forget. That’s okay. We will create our own quiet space, filled with inside jokes, meaningful conversations, and the comfort of knowing we don’t always have to fill the silence.

There are so many ideas of what love should be, and I have tried to understand them before. But with you, I just want to be myself. I want us to find our own rhythm, even if it’s a little unconventional. I don’t need us to be perfect; I just want us to be real.

I am not the best at keeping track of dates or anniversaries, and I might not always know the right words to say. But I will show my love in small ways—in the way I listen to you, in the way I will make sure you’re okay, in the way I will be there when you need someone. 

My past with love has been a bit rocky, and I know I am not ideal. But for you, I will step out of my comfort zone, even if it means doing things that scare me. I might be hesitant, but I will always try, because you will be worth it.

This time, I want to take things slow, to do it right, even if it means waiting for you. So, here’s the question: Will you be the plot twist I didn’t see coming, or should I keep searching for the right script?

The Unsent Epistles

 So, I am writing this again. I still don't know about the fate of this letter. I don't know if these words I write for you will ever reach you or not but as they say if it is meant to be, it will happen, so with hope, I am writing this letter again. Maybe someone will share this with you after reading this, but it can't be me, it won't be me, it shouldn't be me.


Love stays, love remains fresh, love remains hidden in the heart, and whatnot. It all sounds cliche, right? But it is true, maybe that's why it sounds so familiar for at some point in our life, we all feel so, don't we? My love is the same, pure and honest. I don't know what others feel about it, but my love is selfless, it knows no boundary, it knows nothing about distance, but it knows about you, or I should say it only knows about you. The face, soft cheeks, eyes that like to remain half-opened, magical lips, and a smile that feels like home. Perfect! How gorgeous you are! How can I not fall in love with you with every breath, how?


But I never help my words to reach you. I have lost count of how many times I have typed the letters, how many times I have almost hit the send button. Almost. But almost can never be enough. How I have believed that you almost love me, How many times you have almost told me that you too love me. Almost. I don't even dare to write another letter. Maybe, this would be the last. Maybe, this will reach you. Maybe. Somehow. Miracles happen, right? My love doesn't even deserve a miracle? Can this luck be so cruel?


Whatever. I love you. I find solace in your smile, my heart finds you beautiful, and my eyes feel so comfortable doing nothing but looking at you continuously, have you ever noticed that they stop blinking, I have. Be mine. This heart has built a home, stay in it.

 

Yours,

Idiot

To the One who hasn't had a First Love

Hi,


You hate Rom-Coms.

You don't know how men in movies can cry. Boys don't cry!

You think that your friends are your bros and girls bring unnecessary drama.

I don't blame you. You were 'bred' to think that, life is all about who can run the fastest, who can spit the farthest and who can burp the loudest.

You are not aware of how to use your heart.

You text a 'Happy Mother's Day' to your mom at 12:00A.M. sharp and that's the only acceptable way for you to show 'love'. She birthed you, raised you, she knows what you don't say, so she knows how much that text means.

That's how low is the bar that you have set.

So, when you meet the girl who makes time crawl when she's away and speed past you whenever she's around, you won't know what to say.

You won't know that it's okay to say, "you are beautiful," when she tucks a lock of hair behind her ear and you think she's a goddess.

You won't know that it's okay to say, "you take my breath away," when she crinkles her nose and hides her laughter behind a smile at the poorest jokes you crack.

You won't know that it's okay to say, "it's okay. I'm here," when she eventually shares her fears with you.

You won't know that it's okay to say, "I love you," when you love her and could do anything for her.

You won't know it's okay to say, "I'm sorry. I don't know how to express what I feel. Please, teach me," when she leaves you, believing her feelings are unrequited.


So, all I can say is, all the best for your second love.

 

Love,

 Me

Being too Good isn't Good

You should always be a good person, but that doesn't mean you have to sacrifice yourself in the process because you care more about others.

People say I am not very expressive, maybe that is true. But I am a very predictable person, its just that nobody wants to make that kind of effort.

 I have always been gullible.It is always difficult for me to say no. I would listen to others sorrows and their agony, as well as cheer them up while I was having a bad day. I would go to great lengths to make someone smile.

I would always compliment others, even if they mocked me for being skinny.I would be the loudest cheerleader for others even though I know deep down that no one would not make the same effort for me.

I have always been the kind of guy who would put others before myself, I have always been altruistic. But to be completely honest, it has done me more bad than good.

People take advantage of you when you are too good, sometimes unintentionally, but mostly because they know you will never say no to them.Nothing is more sad than when people like us love others so much that we neglect to love ourselves at times.It shouldn't be necessary for us to burn ourselves in order to warm others.We should not always be the ones who give and receive nothing in return.Saying No doesn't mean that you are a bad person. Putting yourself first does not mean that you are selfish. Making yourself your primary support system because you don't have others does not make you a failure.

And, after few heartbreaks and forced friendships, I have learnt that being too good isn't good.Instead, be kind to your heart so that no one else can take advantage of it.




So How Have you Been?



 
Today she asked me,

"So how have you been?"

And I started talking

about a wonderful day

And she just sat there

Letting me ramble on for a while

Waiting for me to realize

That she wasn't going to fall

for this facade I had created

 to hide away behind my lies

 

It gave me pause

And I watched her

take a sip from her coffee

Because she was still waiting

on a real answer from me

And it made me think about

this knee jerk reaction of ours

Of how

when someone asks us how we are 

We reply without a thought,

that we are absolutely fine

Forgetting how today morning

we woke up in panic

And just couldn't stop crying

 

Ignoring how things around us

seem to be falling to pieces 

And how we gather them all up with a broom 

 and lay them out delicately on the dinner table

Take some glue from the top shelf in our room 

And painstakingly stick everything together

hoping it would look brand new

 

And of course we get away with it

Because we have been doing it for so long

We know where every broken piece of us belongs

But only those that know

the inner most depth of our lives 

Can seem to find the cracks

hidden under layers of paint,in those barely visible glue lines

 

And we do all this just

to fool ourselves into believing

That life is good right now

and there's nothing

we could possibly be missing

 Until we meet that one person 

who knows, just knows

 

And they ask you "so how have you been?"

And you're left wondering maybe

you don't have enough practice after all

 

for those glue lines

to be left unseen.

 

 

 

 

*Conversations*

 

 


 

"You don't talk much. Do you?"


"No, that's not true. I actually talk a lot or I used to.."


"Well then what made you so boring?"


"Maybe it's because people neither understand my words, nor my silence, so they call me boring."


"Ouch. That hurts."


"Did it? It was meant to."


"You sound so cynical sometimes."


"How can a cynical person be boring? I thought sarcasm never goes out of style."


"You have answer for everything. Don't you?"


"And yet you say I don't talk much."

Conversations With Ex

 

"This conversation is a fictional creation and should not be taken as an accurate representation of real life events." 😁

 

.

Ex : Have you been waiting for long ?

No, I just got here

Ex : So, How are you ? Its been so long.

I am okay.Just going with the flow.

Ex : You sound low, what happened, still struggling ?

Sort of, at its peak 

Ex : You never used to open up like this to anyone.

What's the point of keeping it all in when it only serves to stroke one's ego?

Ex : Wasn't that ego your identity.

Was it? You had been with me for 3 years, you have the right to judge me.

Ex : You haven't changed one bit.

But you have changed a lot.

Ex : Then what do you expect? To be stuck with all those hopes you gave me?

No you shouldn't, you didn't, you deserve a lot more and I am sorry. I did a lot of stupid things. Sorry!

Ex : You have learnt to apologize now?

Well I have to learn right?

Ex : I withdraw my statement, the guy I knew did not admit his mistakes so quickly, you have actually changed.  

Maybe, things are different now, how can I not change.

Ex : Listen, the reason I wanted to meet you..

To invite me to your wedding.

Ex : Yes, but how did you know?

 You wanted to meet me after an year, what else could it be. So, what's he into ?

Ex : He is a CA, working in Kuwait.

Good. I hope you will be happy where you are.

Ex : Find a girl, someone that really suites you

As if I have got somewhere with life, It ends with you, I don't think there's any chance of it happening again.

Ex : Its time, I will take your leave.

Do you want me to drop you?

Ex : He will be coming to pick me up

Okay

Ex : Won't you come for my wedding? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Moving on from the One you Never Dated

 


Unrequited love can be a difficult and painful experience, one that can linger in your hearts and minds for a long time. If you have ever been in love with someone who didn't reciprocate your feelings, then you know how difficult it can be to let go. Its trickier. How do you make the call of choosing to let go when there's a part of you that hopes silently that you wouldn't have to?

You know how people tell you, "Take a deep breath, and let it go." As if you didn't already know.But what about the bleeding heart? What about the memories that keep you awake at night? What about the shattered dream? The heart wants what it wants,right?

                                                                  *The Heart*

Heart : Huh! So now its all my fault?
 

You didn't fell for them because everyone else around you was dating or getting married,it just happened to you.However, most of the time, the people we like do not reciprocate.They may be thinking of someone else when you dream about spending the rest of your life with them.Of course, none of this was planned.You had no intention of falling for them.You were supposed to be immune to their charm, but you couldn't resist.

You tried to move on, but it was difficult. Every time you saw them, your heart would ache. You couldn't take your mind off how happy you had been with them.You couldn't stop thinking about them and found yourself analyzing every interaction you had, hoping for a sign that they might change their mind.But deep down, you knew it was unlikely. You couldn't shake the feeling that you had missed out on something truly special.

The confusion kept killing you.There were times when you thought everything was real. And then there were times when deep down you knew that they were gonna break your heart.And you kept lying to yourself over and over again. You kept telling yourself that the two of you had a shot. You kept ignoring all the red-flags. Days,Months passed and there was nothing that changed in you. You were there, waiting for closure while they were making the same promises to someone else. 

And then one fine day you see a picture of them with someone else, and everyone showering wishes.Your heart sank at first, but then something unexpected happened. You started to experience a sense of relief and happiness.

It was as if a weight had been lifted off your shoulders.You realized that you had been holding on to a dream that was never meant to be. It wasn't fair to you, to continue to cling to something that was never going to happen. You finally let go, and it was the most liberating feeling.

You are genuinely happy for them, and you realized that you have grown as a person.You learnt to accept that sometimes things don't work out, but that doesn't mean it's the end of the world."Maybe life has a way of leading you to where you need to be, even if it's not the path you originally envisioned."

 

You know writing is your escape,its your way of letting it all out.

So how then?

A series maybe...


 To be continued...

 

Conversations with Self - Part 1

"How do you do it bro?"

 

"Do what?"


"Hide all your pain behind a smile."


"I don't do any such thing!"


"You and your thoughts are as tangled as your headphones!"

 

"And that's why I untangle them every night.. before bed, as I'm doing now."

 

"You still dream about her?"

 

"Yes, I do. But, they aren't nightmares."

 

"Yes, that's even worse. You dream of ending up with her and that's probably never going to happen!"

 

"It happens in my dreams. That is good enough for me."


"You are just hurting yourself by doing all this."

 

"After all that she is going through, I so wish to message her everyday just to check her once, not that she needs to see my message, but still."

 

 "No big deal, Go and meet her! It's not that she doesn't want to talk to you, does she? 

 

"I don't know what to do!"

 

"You know you will eventually have to let someone in.. right?"

 

"I don't know. Just the thought of it scares me now. I guess that is the problem with people like us, we feel deeply. Our highs are the highest and lows are the lowest."

 

"She doesn't need you. Find someone else, there are plenty of fishes in the sea."


"What if that is the only fish I want?"

 

 

India’s Longest Train Journey: More Than Just the Distance

India’s longest train journey, the Vivek Express, covers an incredible distance of 4,189 kilometers in over 80 hours, from Kanyakumari at th...