Showing posts with label introvert. Show all posts
Showing posts with label introvert. Show all posts

India’s Longest Train Journey: More Than Just the Distance

India’s longest train journey, the Vivek Express, covers an incredible distance of 4,189 kilometers in over 80 hours, from Kanyakumari at the southern tip of the country to Dibrugarh in the northeastern state of Assam. The train passes through 8 states—Tamil Nadu, Kerala, Karnataka, Andhra Pradesh, Odisha, West Bengal, Bihar, and Assam—offering a unique glimpse of India's vast landscapes and diverse cultures. Though this journey is the longest in India, it looks small in comparison to the world's longest train journey, the Trans-Siberian Railway, which covers a mind-boggling 9,300 kilometers across Russia, from Moscow to Vladivostok, taking around 7 days to complete. One day, I hope to experience that legendary journey too. For now, however, it was time to tick off the Vivek Express from my list—a trip I had been dreaming about for years.

I had thought about this journey for a long time, wondering if I should take the plunge. It’s a long ride, almost four days on a train, but the idea of completing India’s longest train journey was something I couldn’t ignore. After much deliberation, I finally managed to book myself a seat in Second AC. I have seen how crowded Sleeper Class can get, and I wanted to avoid the hassle, especially on such a long trip. I was keen on getting a side lower berth, which took me a couple of tries. Unfortunately, my booking came through a bit later than I had originally planned, causing me to adjust my travel dates.

Arriving at Kanyakumari station for the first time felt surreal.The train was already at the platform, and as I walked past the Sleeper Class coaches, I could see they were packed. I knew it would only get more crowded as we passed through Kerala, with many migrant workers from the Northeast heading back home. They often prefer this train, as it covers their entire route without the need for a change.

When I boarded my compartment, it was nearly empty. The coach attendant asked where I was heading. "Dibrugarh," I said. He looked at me, stunned, and asked if I was a vlogger or something. I chuckled and shook my head—it wasn’t the first time I had been asked that question. This was just something I had wanted to do for a long time. The journey was on.

The train moved into Kerala, and as expected, more passengers started filling the compartments. Even in Second AC, I felt a bit uncomfortable with the crowd trickling in. For a moment, I considered dropping the plan entirely and heading back to Bangalore. I started searching for trains that could take me back, just in case. But I decided to give it a night and see how things were in the morning once we crossed into Tamil Nadu.

To be safe, I checked train options from Tamil Nadu and even Andhra Pradesh, just in case I wanted to switch course. However, the TTEs were on their toes, making sure unreserved passengers didn’t overrun the reserved compartments. By the next station, the crowd had thinned out significantly. I had dinner, reassured myself, and went to sleep. The next morning, we were back in Tamil Nadu, and things felt much calmer.

More passengers boarded, including my co-passenger, who joined me around midnight from Palakkad traveling till Guwahati. He told me he works as a cook in a college hostel in Kozhikode and spoke highly about the place and its people, sharing how welcoming and friendly they are.He surprised me with his fluency in Malayalam - he spoke much better than I did. His friend was on a berth behind us. He worked as a laborer.His hands were rough, a testament to the hard work he did daily, laying bricks, mixing cement, and shaping structures that would eventually become homes.
Their stories about construction sites, long work hours, and friendships showed me what life is like for many who come to Kerala for jobs.Both of them were curious about my trip. They seemed impressed and even suggested some places to visit in the northeast. Many of those places were already on my bucket list, but with time constraints on this trip, I had no plans to explore much. I will likely save them for another visit.

Starting conversations is something I struggle with, but my co-passengers seemed friendly and eager to chat. They were the ones who brought me into their conversations. There was this girl traveling to Odisha. She worked in a factory in Ernakulam and looked at me a few times. Our eyes met occasionally, but when I saw her buying pan masala from an outside vendor, it changed my initial impression of her. Then there was another girl on the opposite berth, traveling all the way to Malda Town in West Bengal. She shared her snacks with me during tea time, and we struck up a conversation. To my surprise, she was my age, yet already had a five-year-old daughter. That moment made me pause and think about how differently our lives had shaped up—while she was managing a family, I was out here, wandering on train journeys with not much concern for the future. She showed me a picture of her daughter on her phone, a small, smiling face with two pigtails. 'She’s my everything,” she said quietly, looking at the photo a little longer.


Pantry vendors became a constant presence, offering tea, snacks, and bits of conversation. They were all curious about my journey, fascinated that someone was traveling the entire distance to Dibrugarh. It felt nice to have those small interactions along the way. All these people, from different walks of life, filled the time with interesting chats, making the long hours more bearable.

As the train rolled on, the landscapes changed dramatically. From the dry, arid lands of Tamil Nadu, we crossed into the greener patches of Andhra Pradesh. By the time we entered Odisha, I started noticing more greenery and a subtle shift in the architecture of the homes that flashed by. It was a constant reminder of how diverse and beautiful India is.

As the train crossed through West Bengal, I noticed the border fence between India and Bangladesh. It was a strange yet comforting feeling, watching life go on just across the border, not so different from ours. I found myself wondering about the people there—their stories, their daily routines. Though only a fence separated us, it felt like a whole other world. The thought stayed with me as the train moved forward, reminding me how borders can separate countries, but people are the same everywhere.

On Day 4, we finally entered Assam. The rain was pouring, and fog enveloped the landscape, adding to the already heavy atmosphere. The train had run eight hours late, and as we approached the stations, most passengers began de boarding for their destinations. I bid them goodbye—each one had been good company throughout the journey. With the fog thickening, I sensed that the delay might only worsen.

The landscape in Assam was quite different from what I had seen so far—green and beautiful in parts, but also showing signs of poverty. The cleanliness, especially around some areas we passed through, was worse than expected. My co-passenger and his friend were preparing to get off at the next station. We shared one last conversation, took a quick selfie, and then said our goodbyes as they wished me luck for the rest of my journey.

At this point, almost 90% of the train had emptied out, and the once lively coach now felt silent, with only the occasional sounds of vendors passing through. I realized something—this journey had begun with an almost empty coach, and now I was ending it in much the same way, sitting quietly in an almost empty coach. It felt like a full-circle moment. But this time, I wasn’t alone. I carried with me the stories, smiles, goodbyes, and fleeting moments of connection with people I never thought I would speak to.

We finally reached Dibrugarh, nearly six hours late at midnight 2 a.m. As I stepped out of the train, the wet platform shined under the dim lights, and I felt something shift inside me. The journey, which started with nervous excitement, had ended with a heart full of stories and connections I hadn’t expected. Watching the world drift by, sharing meals, and exchanging goodbyes had made the delays and discomforts seem trivial. This trip wasn’t just about covering 4,189 kilometers; it was about the moments of quiet reflection, the unexpected friendships, and the sense of fulfillment that came from finally ticking off something I had long dreamed of doing.

I had been worried that my room booking might get canceled since I hadn’t shown up by 11 p.m., but luckily, everything worked out, and I got my room.As I settled into my room with the rain still hitting the window, I couldn’t help but smile. What began as a solo adventure had turned into something much more meaningful. Sometimes, all it takes is one long train ride to understand that no journey, no matter how lonely it seems, is ever truly taken alone.











To the Love That’s Still a Stranger

I haven’t met you yet (or maybe I have?), and I am not sure how this will all begin. I am not the most outgoing guy, so if we do meet, it might be in some quiet corner, away from the crowd. I wonder if, like me, your eyes brighten at the thought of losing yourself in a great movie or finding peace in solitude, but even if you are completely different from me, I believe it could st ill work.

I am not the loudest or the most expressive, but I feel deeply. I love in a quiet way, but it’s a love that’s constant and unwavering. You might not always see it in grand gestures, but you’ll find it in the little things I do.

 I don’t expect much from you. You might have your own set of scars, stories you prefer not to tell, and songs that bring back memories you would rather forget. That’s okay. We will create our own quiet space, filled with inside jokes, meaningful conversations, and the comfort of knowing we don’t always have to fill the silence.

There are so many ideas of what love should be, and I have tried to understand them before. But with you, I just want to be myself. I want us to find our own rhythm, even if it’s a little unconventional. I don’t need us to be perfect; I just want us to be real.

I am not the best at keeping track of dates or anniversaries, and I might not always know the right words to say. But I will show my love in small ways—in the way I listen to you, in the way I will make sure you’re okay, in the way I will be there when you need someone. 

My past with love has been a bit rocky, and I know I am not ideal. But for you, I will step out of my comfort zone, even if it means doing things that scare me. I might be hesitant, but I will always try, because you will be worth it.

This time, I want to take things slow, to do it right, even if it means waiting for you. So, here’s the question: Will you be the plot twist I didn’t see coming, or should I keep searching for the right script?

To the One who hasn't had a First Love

Hi,


You hate Rom-Coms.

You don't know how men in movies can cry. Boys don't cry!

You think that your friends are your bros and girls bring unnecessary drama.

I don't blame you. You were 'bred' to think that, life is all about who can run the fastest, who can spit the farthest and who can burp the loudest.

You are not aware of how to use your heart.

You text a 'Happy Mother's Day' to your mom at 12:00A.M. sharp and that's the only acceptable way for you to show 'love'. She birthed you, raised you, she knows what you don't say, so she knows how much that text means.

That's how low is the bar that you have set.

So, when you meet the girl who makes time crawl when she's away and speed past you whenever she's around, you won't know what to say.

You won't know that it's okay to say, "you are beautiful," when she tucks a lock of hair behind her ear and you think she's a goddess.

You won't know that it's okay to say, "you take my breath away," when she crinkles her nose and hides her laughter behind a smile at the poorest jokes you crack.

You won't know that it's okay to say, "it's okay. I'm here," when she eventually shares her fears with you.

You won't know that it's okay to say, "I love you," when you love her and could do anything for her.

You won't know it's okay to say, "I'm sorry. I don't know how to express what I feel. Please, teach me," when she leaves you, believing her feelings are unrequited.


So, all I can say is, all the best for your second love.

 

Love,

 Me

Being too Good isn't Good

You should always be a good person, but that doesn't mean you have to sacrifice yourself in the process because you care more about others.

People say I am not very expressive, maybe that is true. But I am a very predictable person, its just that nobody wants to make that kind of effort.

 I have always been gullible.It is always difficult for me to say no. I would listen to others sorrows and their agony, as well as cheer them up while I was having a bad day. I would go to great lengths to make someone smile.

I would always compliment others, even if they mocked me for being skinny.I would be the loudest cheerleader for others even though I know deep down that no one would not make the same effort for me.

I have always been the kind of guy who would put others before myself, I have always been altruistic. But to be completely honest, it has done me more bad than good.

People take advantage of you when you are too good, sometimes unintentionally, but mostly because they know you will never say no to them.Nothing is more sad than when people like us love others so much that we neglect to love ourselves at times.It shouldn't be necessary for us to burn ourselves in order to warm others.We should not always be the ones who give and receive nothing in return.Saying No doesn't mean that you are a bad person. Putting yourself first does not mean that you are selfish. Making yourself your primary support system because you don't have others does not make you a failure.

And, after few heartbreaks and forced friendships, I have learnt that being too good isn't good.Instead, be kind to your heart so that no one else can take advantage of it.




So How Have you Been?



 
Today she asked me,

"So how have you been?"

And I started talking

about a wonderful day

And she just sat there

Letting me ramble on for a while

Waiting for me to realize

That she wasn't going to fall

for this facade I had created

 to hide away behind my lies

 

It gave me pause

And I watched her

take a sip from her coffee

Because she was still waiting

on a real answer from me

And it made me think about

this knee jerk reaction of ours

Of how

when someone asks us how we are 

We reply without a thought,

that we are absolutely fine

Forgetting how today morning

we woke up in panic

And just couldn't stop crying

 

Ignoring how things around us

seem to be falling to pieces 

And how we gather them all up with a broom 

 and lay them out delicately on the dinner table

Take some glue from the top shelf in our room 

And painstakingly stick everything together

hoping it would look brand new

 

And of course we get away with it

Because we have been doing it for so long

We know where every broken piece of us belongs

But only those that know

the inner most depth of our lives 

Can seem to find the cracks

hidden under layers of paint,in those barely visible glue lines

 

And we do all this just

to fool ourselves into believing

That life is good right now

and there's nothing

we could possibly be missing

 Until we meet that one person 

who knows, just knows

 

And they ask you "so how have you been?"

And you're left wondering maybe

you don't have enough practice after all

 

for those glue lines

to be left unseen.

 

 

 

 

*Conversations*

 

 


 

"You don't talk much. Do you?"


"No, that's not true. I actually talk a lot or I used to.."


"Well then what made you so boring?"


"Maybe it's because people neither understand my words, nor my silence, so they call me boring."


"Ouch. That hurts."


"Did it? It was meant to."


"You sound so cynical sometimes."


"How can a cynical person be boring? I thought sarcasm never goes out of style."


"You have answer for everything. Don't you?"


"And yet you say I don't talk much."

Moving on from the One you Never Dated

 


Unrequited love can be a difficult and painful experience, one that can linger in your hearts and minds for a long time. If you have ever been in love with someone who didn't reciprocate your feelings, then you know how difficult it can be to let go. Its trickier. How do you make the call of choosing to let go when there's a part of you that hopes silently that you wouldn't have to?

You know how people tell you, "Take a deep breath, and let it go." As if you didn't already know.But what about the bleeding heart? What about the memories that keep you awake at night? What about the shattered dream? The heart wants what it wants,right?

                                                                  *The Heart*

Heart : Huh! So now its all my fault?
 

You didn't fell for them because everyone else around you was dating or getting married,it just happened to you.However, most of the time, the people we like do not reciprocate.They may be thinking of someone else when you dream about spending the rest of your life with them.Of course, none of this was planned.You had no intention of falling for them.You were supposed to be immune to their charm, but you couldn't resist.

You tried to move on, but it was difficult. Every time you saw them, your heart would ache. You couldn't take your mind off how happy you had been with them.You couldn't stop thinking about them and found yourself analyzing every interaction you had, hoping for a sign that they might change their mind.But deep down, you knew it was unlikely. You couldn't shake the feeling that you had missed out on something truly special.

The confusion kept killing you.There were times when you thought everything was real. And then there were times when deep down you knew that they were gonna break your heart.And you kept lying to yourself over and over again. You kept telling yourself that the two of you had a shot. You kept ignoring all the red-flags. Days,Months passed and there was nothing that changed in you. You were there, waiting for closure while they were making the same promises to someone else. 

And then one fine day you see a picture of them with someone else, and everyone showering wishes.Your heart sank at first, but then something unexpected happened. You started to experience a sense of relief and happiness.

It was as if a weight had been lifted off your shoulders.You realized that you had been holding on to a dream that was never meant to be. It wasn't fair to you, to continue to cling to something that was never going to happen. You finally let go, and it was the most liberating feeling.

You are genuinely happy for them, and you realized that you have grown as a person.You learnt to accept that sometimes things don't work out, but that doesn't mean it's the end of the world."Maybe life has a way of leading you to where you need to be, even if it's not the path you originally envisioned."

 

You know writing is your escape,its your way of letting it all out.

So how then?

A series maybe...


 To be continued...

 

Notes of Hope

 

Some days you just feel lost. You don't want to talk to anyone. You just want to sit alone and think about yourself. You feel alone in spite of having people to talk to. 

Sometimes you randomly smile looking at chats or pictures of your loved ones. And the next moment you cry remembering all the times you have lost over the years. Nothing might have gone wrong but you would still feel that 'you are not enough. 

You will start to overthink everything you have done or said until now. You would start questioning your own choice of people, career and life. At this point, you would cry even on the smallest thing. You would feel life isn't treating you right.

But just remember,maybe this is life's way to bring you up. Trust yourself. Life isn't always so cruel. Maybe sometimes it's just you who isn't ready to face what's coming up next. What if you are not in a good place to move forward? What if you keep holding onto things which don't matter and lose out on the better things?

Calm down, breathe and then step forward. Tell yourself you can do it. Talk to people. Healing might take time, it might be difficult but if you try, you will realize the healing process has made you stronger than before.

Introverts & Heartbreaks

As they say every coin has two sides, so why not post this part as well!

In case you haven't read, When an Introvert Falls in Love 💕

It’s not easy for an introvert to fall in love. Our mind's little universe is already occupied with so many thoughts. We are already so content with self that it takes someone really special to make us feel that we need you in our life.

We take a lot of time before making friends with anyone,We don't let people enter in our world easily. So if we are so selective in case of friendship, choosing someone special is certainly hard for us.We take time adjusting with people, and if we do get comfortable with you; trust me you are special, not everyone around gets the same treatment.

We are complicated human beings. We love our space, freedom, loneliness but that doesn’t mean we always want to be alone. We too love our share of happy moments, possessiveness, hugs and things everyone want.

So, yes when Heartbroken or rejected we too feel depressed, pained, awful and all the things anyone would feel or more…

I am saying more because being an introvert it is hard to express for us in the first place. We cannot share our feelings with anyone else and our words and feelings are always left unsaid and unexpressed.We just don't want others to take care of us. We try to handle things by ourselves.

It’s tough, tougher than you think.

 We have a very small world,though very interesting but very small world.When we express our love its like you have been always there in that small world of ours for forever. When rejected suddenly the person is nowhere.Its like collapsing friendship, family island from movie “Inside Out”. The sad part is though rejected we will not complain. We will not tell anybody and also we will not let anybody.

 We lose faith in everyone who comes around. Well not your fault and we don't blame you, it was us who gave it completely to you, and when one fine day you leave, it breaks us down. We try our best to be focused. No matter how hard it is for us, but once you ask us not to contact , we'll try our best about not doing so.

We cry too, a lot,but only to ourselves. We stay indoors, alone, with maybe some watching movies or just online, sharing memes.We may cry ourselves to sleep every night and next morning we may wake up as if nothing has happened. The worst part is we will will act like nothing has happened in front of other people because we want to save ourselves the hassle to tell others about our life.

We build a even firmer wall around us and delve ourselves into reading or writing or somehow trying to express our feelings about these topics and will often get engrossed in those jobs so as to form a strict and ever lasting belief in some concepts which might not be broken easily.

 

 

Being an Introvert is a Good Thing



"You don't talk much, do you?"

"You have got lot of attitude"

 If I got a one rupee coin every-time a person asked me why I am so reserved I could have been a millionaire by now!



"The less people you chill with, the less bullshit you have to deal with."

I guess this is the fundamental principle most introverts live by.

Being an introvert does not equate to shyness or asocial behavior. Those are two very different things. It simply means that the quantity of the social interaction an introvert prefers is significantly less.That being said, a few things introverts might (again, depends on the person) like to do in order to recharge include reading, writing, painting, listening to music, cooking or any hobby that one can pursue in solitude (or even sleeping!)

Extroverts usually have a very wide circle of friends. However many of the people they count as friends are really just casual acquaintances.
Introverts, on the other hand, tend to form deep, strong bonds with a few carefully selected people. As a result, they create long-lasting relationships with friends who adore them— even if they never return their phone calls. 

Introverts care about what other people say, so they tune into the conversation with every ounce of their being. They look you in the eye, and make sure you have finished what you have to say before responding. They talk less than they listen.

I (and hopefully we) worry a lot about how I present myself to other people. Boy, do I worry. I try to express my thoughts clearly and concisely, I try not to look nervous. I want my hair to be perfect, I want my clothes to look neat, and I want to pass off as normal and unnoticed. But in the end, I end up speaking gobbledegook, my hair becomes a train wreck, my clothes actually crumple due to the constant fussing over it.

Introverts are too soft, too vulnerable with their feelings.And yes, most of them won't make the first move. They won't approach first, how much ever love-sick they are.We generally never let anyone come close to their heart. But if an introvert starts talking to you, starts expressing you that is a clear sign that the person is interested in you. At times, you need to understand them a little more because they can’t express their feelings most of the times. Even if they want you with all their heart, at times they can’t say it.
Before they realize, they are waiting for your calls. They try to keep the conversations going, but are terrible at it.They want to stop you, they want to resist you every bit, cause they know you have the capacity to affect them like no one else. And yet, you are there, painting their small, dimly lit world into all sorts of bright rainbow colors. .
 
We all dream of having a partner with whom we can just talk about everything and nothing for hours on end. Someone who listens and really understands what is in your heart.This is one of the introvert’s superpowers. They love to listen and if you’re having a bad day or are homesick, you know who can make you feel better.
 
Introverts are not looking to be the center of attention.While they will likely run and hide when their name is called, you can be assured that when you step off the stage, they’ll be the ones cheering the loudest.
 
Introverts can't get things out if their heads. They only feel satisfied when they have spent ample time analyzing and recollecting the conversation they just had .
As an introvert I often envy people who can just toss off things from their heads and move on , which for me seems to be a herculian task!!
 Whenever I feel like " I should let this go" , my mind exclaims " what??? You have not given enough thought about it, so how the hell can you let the issue get out from your mind?"
 
 
Also, fun fact: In parties/gatherings, we also tend to think one of two thoughts everytime: “Please come talk to me!” and “Why are you coming towards me? Go away!”

In a nutshell, introverts stress out a lot most of the time over the fear of being judged and end up being really awkward to be around.
 
For the benefit of those who feel I should be less anti-social, accommodating, interactive, apologetic or tolerant, here is what I am, as accurately as I can put it.  

 Also Read:

When an Introvert Falls in Love 💕  

 

When an Introvert Falls in Love - Part Two 💕💕  

 

 

India’s Longest Train Journey: More Than Just the Distance

India’s longest train journey, the Vivek Express, covers an incredible distance of 4,189 kilometers in over 80 hours, from Kanyakumari at th...