Simply, Me

To the Love That’s Still a Stranger

I haven’t met you yet (or maybe I have?), and I am not sure how this will all begin. I am not the most outgoing guy, so if we do meet, it might be in some quiet corner, away from the crowd. I wonder if, like me, your eyes brighten at the thought of losing yourself in a great movie or finding peace in solitude, but even if you are completely different from me, I believe it could st ill work.

I am not the loudest or the most expressive, but I feel deeply. I love in a quiet way, but it’s a love that’s constant and unwavering. You might not always see it in grand gestures, but you’ll find it in the little things I do.

I don’t expect much from you. You might have your own set of scars, stories you prefer not to tell, and songs that bring back memories you would rather forget. That’s okay. We will create our own quiet space, filled with inside jokes, meaningful conversations, and the comfort of knowing we don’t always have to fill the silence.

There are so many ideas of what love should be, and I have tried to understand them before. But with you, I just want to be myself. I want us to find our own rhythm, even if it’s a little unconventional. I don’t need us to be perfect; I just want us to be real.

I am not the best at keeping track of dates or anniversaries, and I might not always know the right words to say. But I will show my love in small ways—in the way I listen to you, in the way I will make sure you’re okay, in the way I will be there when you need someone.

My past with love has been a bit rocky, and I know I am not ideal. But for you, I will step out of my comfort zone, even if it means doing things that scare me. I might be hesitant, but I will always try, because you will be worth it.

This time, I want to take things slow, to do it right, even if it means waiting for you. So, here’s the question: Will you be the plot twist I didn’t see coming, or should I keep searching for the right script?

The Unsent Epistles

So, I am writing this again. I still don't know about the fate of this letter. I don't know if these words I write for you will ever reach you or not but as they say if it is meant to be, it will happen, so with hope, I am writing this letter again. Maybe someone will share this with you after reading this, but it can't be me, it won't be me, it shouldn't be me.

Love stays, love remains fresh, love remains hidden in the heart, and whatnot. It all sounds cliche, right? But it is true, maybe that's why it sounds so familiar for at some point in our life, we all feel so, don't we? My love is the same, pure and honest. I don't know what others feel about it, but my love is selfless, it knows no boundary, it knows nothing about distance, but it knows about you, or I should say it only knows about you. The face, soft cheeks, eyes that like to remain half-opened, magical lips, and a smile that feels like home. Perfect! How gorgeous you are! How can I not fall in love with you with every breath, how?

But I never help my words to reach you. I have lost count of how many times I have typed the letters, how many times I have almost hit the send button. Almost. But almost can never be enough. How I have believed that you almost love me, How many times you have almost told me that you too love me. Almost. I don't even dare to write another letter. Maybe, this would be the last. Maybe, this will reach you. Maybe. Somehow. Miracles happen, right? My love doesn't even deserve a miracle? Can this luck be so cruel?

Whatever. I love you. I find solace in your smile, my heart finds you beautiful, and my eyes feel so comfortable doing nothing but looking at you continuously, have you ever noticed that they stop blinking, I have. Be mine. This heart has built a home, stay in it.

Yours,

Idiot

To the One who hasn't had a First Love

Hi,

You hate Rom-Coms.

You don't know how men in movies can cry. Boys don't cry!

You think that your friends are your bros and girls bring unnecessary drama.

I don't blame you. You were 'bred' to think that, life is all about who can run the fastest, who can spit the farthest and who can burp the loudest.

You are not aware of how to use your heart.

You text a 'Happy Mother's Day' to your mom at 12:00A.M. sharp and that's the only acceptable way for you to show 'love'. She birthed you, raised you, she knows what you don't say, so she knows how much that text means.

That's how low is the bar that you have set.

So, when you meet the girl who makes time crawl when she's away and speed past you whenever she's around, you won't know what to say.

You won't know that it's okay to say, "you are beautiful," when she tucks a lock of hair behind her ear and you think she's a goddess.

You won't know that it's okay to say, "you take my breath away," when she crinkles her nose and hides her laughter behind a smile at the poorest jokes you crack.

You won't know that it's okay to say, "it's okay. I'm here," when she eventually shares her fears with you.

You won't know that it's okay to say, "I love you," when you love her and could do anything for her.

You won't know it's okay to say, "I'm sorry. I don't know how to express what I feel. Please, teach me," when she leaves you, believing her feelings are unrequited.

So, all I can say is, all the best for your second love.

Love,

Being too Good isn't Good

You should always be a good person, but that doesn't mean you have to sacrifice yourself in the process because you care more about others.

People say I am not very expressive, maybe that is true. But I am a very predictable person, its just that nobody wants to make that kind of effort.

I have always been gullible.It is always difficult for me to say no. I would listen to others sorrows and their agony, as well as cheer them up while I was having a bad day. I would go to great lengths to make someone smile.

I would always compliment others, even if they mocked me for being skinny.I would be the loudest cheerleader for others even though I know deep down that no one would not make the same effort for me.

I have always been the kind of guy who would put others before myself, I have always been altruistic. But to be completely honest, it has done me more bad than good.

People take advantage of you when you are too good, sometimes unintentionally, but mostly because they know you will never say no to them.Nothing is more sad than when people like us love others so much that we neglect to love ourselves at times.It shouldn't be necessary for us to burn ourselves in order to warm others.We should not always be the ones who give and receive nothing in return.Saying No doesn't mean that you are a bad person. Putting yourself first does not mean that you are selfish. Making yourself your primary support system because you don't have others does not make you a failure.

And, after few heartbreaks and forced friendships, I have learnt that being too good isn't good.Instead, be kind to your heart so that no one else can take advantage of it.

So How Have you Been?

Today she asked me,

"So how have you been?"

And I started talking

about a wonderful day

And she just sat there

Letting me ramble on for a while

Waiting for me to realize

That she wasn't going to fall

for this facade I had created

to hide away behind my lies

It gave me pause

And I watched her

take a sip from her coffee

Because she was still waiting

on a real answer from me

And it made me think about

this knee jerk reaction of ours

Of how

when someone asks us how we are

We reply without a thought,

that we are absolutely fine

Forgetting how today morning

we woke up in panic

And just couldn't stop crying

Ignoring how things around us

seem to be falling to pieces

And how we gather them all up with a broom

and lay them out delicately on the dinner table

Take some glue from the top shelf in our room

And painstakingly stick everything together

hoping it would look brand new

And of course we get away with it

Because we have been doing it for so long

We know where every broken piece of us belongs

But only those that know

the inner most depth of our lives

Can seem to find the cracks

hidden under layers of paint,in those barely visible glue lines

And we do all this just

to fool ourselves into believing

That life is good right now

and there's nothing

we could possibly be missing

Until we meet that one person

who knows, just knows

And they ask you "so how have you been?"

And you're left wondering maybe

you don't have enough practice after all

for those glue lines

to be left unseen.

Conversations

"You don't talk much. Do you?"

"No, that's not true. I actually talk a lot or I used to.."

"Well then what made you so boring?"

"Maybe it's because people neither understand my words, nor my silence, so they call me boring."

"Ouch. That hurts."

"Did it? It was meant to."

"You sound so cynical sometimes."

"How can a cynical person be boring? I thought sarcasm never goes out of style."

"You have answer for everything. Don't you?"

"And yet you say I don't talk much."

Conversations With Ex

"This conversation is a fictional creation and should not be taken as an accurate representation of real life events." 😁

Ex : Have you been waiting for long ?

No, I just got here

Ex : So, How are you ? Its been so long.

I am okay.Just going with the flow.

Ex : You sound low, what happened, still struggling ?

Sort of, at its peak

Ex : You never used to open up like this to anyone.

What's the point of keeping it all in when it only serves to stroke one's ego?

Ex : Wasn't that ego your identity.

Was it? You had been with me for 3 years, you have the right to judge me.

Ex : You haven't changed one bit.

But you have changed a lot.

Ex : Then what do you expect? To be stuck with all those hopes you gave me?

No you shouldn't, you didn't, you deserve a lot more and I am sorry. I did a lot of stupid things. Sorry!

Ex : You have learnt to apologize now?

Well I have to learn right?

Ex : I withdraw my statement, the guy I knew did not admit his mistakes so quickly, you have actually changed.

Maybe, things are different now, how can I not change.

Ex : Listen, the reason I wanted to meet you..

To invite me to your wedding.

Ex : Yes, but how did you know?

You wanted to meet me after an year, what else could it be. So, what's he into ?

Ex : He is a CA, working in Kuwait.

Good. I hope you will be happy where you are.

Ex : Find a girl, someone that really suites you

As if I have got somewhere with life, It ends with you, I don't think there's any chance of it happening again.

Ex : Its time, I will take your leave.

Do you want me to drop you?

Ex : He will be coming to pick me up

Okay

Ex : Won't you come for my wedding?

Moving on from the One you Never Dated

Unrequited love can be a difficult and painful experience, one that can linger in your hearts and minds for a long time. If you have ever been in love with someone who didn't reciprocate your feelings, then you know how difficult it can be to let go. Its trickier. How do you make the call of choosing to let go when there's a part of you that hopes silently that you wouldn't have to?

You know how people tell you, "Take a deep breath, and let it go." As if you didn't already know.But what about the bleeding heart? What about the memories that keep you awake at night? What about the shattered dream? The heart wants what it wants,right?

*The Heart*

Heart : Huh! So now its all my fault?

You didn't fell for them because everyone else around you was dating or getting married,it just happened to you.However, most of the time, the people we like do not reciprocate.They may be thinking of someone else when you dream about spending the rest of your life with them.Of course, none of this was planned.You had no intention of falling for them.You were supposed to be immune to their charm, but you couldn't resist.

You tried to move on, but it was difficult. Every time you saw them, your heart would ache. You couldn't take your mind off how happy you had been with them.You couldn't stop thinking about them and found yourself analyzing every interaction you had, hoping for a sign that they might change their mind.But deep down, you knew it was unlikely. You couldn't shake the feeling that you had missed out on something truly special.

The confusion kept killing you.There were times when you thought everything was real. And then there were times when deep down you knew that they were gonna break your heart.And you kept lying to yourself over and over again. You kept telling yourself that the two of you had a shot. You kept ignoring all the red-flags. Days,Months passed and there was nothing that changed in you. You were there, waiting for closure while they were making the same promises to someone else.

And then one fine day you see a picture of them with someone else, and everyone showering wishes.Your heart sank at first, but then something unexpected happened. You started to experience a sense of relief and happiness.

It was as if a weight had been lifted off your shoulders.You realized that you had been holding on to a dream that was never meant to be. It wasn't fair to you, to continue to cling to something that was never going to happen. You finally let go, and it was the most liberating feeling.

You are genuinely happy for them, and you realized that you have grown as a person.You learnt to accept that sometimes things don't work out, but that doesn't mean it's the end of the world."Maybe life has a way of leading you to where you need to be, even if it's not the path you originally envisioned."

You know writing is your escape,its your way of letting it all out.

So how then?

A series maybe...

To be continued...

My First Interview

It was Saturday morning(early morning), train halted at Kollam Junction and I saw actress Nazriya Nazim getting into the train.She was probably coming from the shoot of "Nenjodu Cherthu" song because she had worn the same pink dress from the song.She sat and smiled at me,it was so welcoming that I felt so good, her radiant eyes, brightening smile...I was lost!!!

But, all of a sudden, the train began shaking vigorously, all the luggage kept on the upper birth started falling down, and I began hearing this very similar voice,

"Get up.It's 9 AM!! You said you have an interview today!"

I woke up from my sleep and all that was just a dream, or be it a dream, it was awesome nevertheless, and its... gone! I wished i could try and close my eyes and continue with the dream, but I couldn't.

So by brother's friend worked in a consultancy, and was helping me to get a job.

I got ready wore a shirt and jeans, tucked in just to look a bit formal.I went to his office and he welcomed me with a handshake.He was a very tall, thick person, looked calm, and it looked to me that this isn't going to be much of an interview, rather just a friendly chat with a friend of my brother. So we took our seats, and he asked for my resume. I gave it with my file with all my mark lists and the course certificate.

He began looking through my marklists. "Hmmm....." .. I was blank, I have heard that "hmmm.." before, from my teachers, mostly, and obviously I hated that. One of the reasons I hated my college, where your ID is the number of back-papers you have. No matter how good, or talented, or smart you are, if you are not good at gulping down all those textbooks and vomiting into your answer papers, you are a nobody... and I suspected that might happen here too.

"So... is there any particular reason why you have failed in these papers?"

I didn't have an answer to that, I mean how could I? I failed because I didn't study. But could I say that to someone who's testing me if I have studied what I was supposed to.

"Eh..... (with an expression as if you just stepped on shit) .. "
He still looked as if he was waiting for a reply. I think, that he really wanted to help me out, he wanted to get me a job. All he wanted was the least bit of contribution from my part, and i wasn't giving anything at all. I felt like I shouldn't let him down, would be more like making a fool of myself.

I started speaking, cleared my voice and said, "Sir, I've always had trouble learning things by heart, also I dont think I spent enough time on those subjects."

He nodded his head, while still reading through my marklists. I guess he just wanted to hear a response, nothing extravagant, and i felt i gave him that. But just to interrupt the silence, I added;

" ... And, I have a slight problem with programming languages.."

That was definitely not necessary. Not only did I break the silence, i managed to change his expression too, from cool to concerned. He looked at me.. for a while, and I just moved my eyebrows a little as if to say I was just being honest.

"Well, Rintu, what we mostly deal with here is advanced JavaScript.. and I think, that you might find it a little bit difficult for you to do what we do here."

I was listening very carefully. I learned Computer Engineering for 4 years, but i didn't know much at all. I don't know how i got through all those papers. And i always thought, whether you become an engineer, and have to solve a problem, or design an application, would you rely on your memory power, or simply refer a textbook?Obviously you would definitely prefer the latter, no matter how good you are, 4 years of dealing with theory will help you in finding the appropriate references, and familiarize with problem solving. Of course i may be wrong, as I have never tried doing it the hard way, to sit and study all that.

He said, "I will just simply ask you a few questions .. :) .. "

I felt very awkward, my mind was totally blank at the moment, I mean, I woke up this morning and came here, just like that. Engineering is the last thing that I would have in my mind. Ask me any quote from a movie or ask me to write down full lyrics of a song, I would do it in the blink of an eye; but not this, i don't know. I should have at least read through that "Fundamentals of Programming Languages" book.

What happened next was a blur. I dont really remember what he asked or what I answered. 1st question was something about OOP. I uttered something which was vaguely related to his answer. He gave me a lot of time, but I just didn't have much to do.

He probably thought of me as an idiot, I cant be sure, because it still looked as if he hadn't given up on me. By then, I had stopped 'trying'. I was just sitting there, listening to whatever he had to say, and if it was a question, i would have kindly said, "I dont know, I dont remember"

"Well, its a good thing you told me at first that you were weak in programming, as that is what we are all about. We will meet again next Monday and discuss your future then"

He kept talking about a lot of general things after that, which I just nodded on, i was waiting for him to say it- "OK then" .. Which he did, several times, and then he would carry on talking about something else.

I was getting very impatient, and I tried my best not to show it. But it kind of snapped, and on the zillionth time he said, "OK then" I stood up, stretched my arm, shook his hand, gave him a big bright smile and said, "Well thank you Sir!" . I guess I got the timing right, as I didn't really interrupt him.I came out of the office.

It was raining heavily outside, and I didn't have an umbrella.

Conversations with Self - Part 1

"How do you do it bro?"

"Do what?"

"Hide all your pain behind a smile."

"I don't do any such thing!"

"You and your thoughts are as tangled as your headphones!"

"And that's why I untangle them every night.. before bed, as I'm doing now."

"You still dream about her?"

"Yes, I do. But, they aren't nightmares."

"Yes, that's even worse. You dream of ending up with her and that's probably never going to happen!"

"It happens in my dreams. That is good enough for me."

"You are just hurting yourself by doing all this."

"After all that she is going through, I so wish to message her everyday just to check her once, not that she needs to see my message, but still."

"No big deal, Go and meet her! It's not that she doesn't want to talk to you, does she?

"I don't know what to do!"

"You know you will eventually have to let someone in.. right?"

"I don't know. Just the thought of it scares me now. I guess that is the problem with people like us, we feel deeply. Our highs are the highest and lows are the lowest."

"She doesn't need you. Find someone else, there are plenty of fishes in the sea."

"What if that is the only fish I want?"

Writing To Escape

You know that feeling that you get when there are millions of thoughts that are exploding in your mind but you can't exactly pinpoint on that one idea or one thought that feels right. That feels appropriate.

Some days I have many thoughts and other days I am as blank as a white sheet.Some days my mind process so many thoughts at a time that it gets difficult for me to Jot it down and other days it just sits still.

I start penning down words, one feeling after another,but somewhere midway, I hit back space and delete all of it.

It's weird how I want to create a masterpiece but end up creating something that feels so ordinary and sometimes a little disappointing. How I read someone's else's piece and feel that I have failed somewhere, that I could have created that piece, that THAT person wrote EXACTLY what I felt and that I SHOULD have been the one to create it. I start somewhat blaming myself that why can't I think of something like that, maybe I did but the thought just came and left my mind without giving me the time to quickly jot it down.

I will always notice that the titles that I picked so carefully could have been used more beautifully, that some other content would have complimented more than what I actually used. I obviously cannot follow rules of writing and think I am very fond of keeping the endings abrupt.

Just like this one.

Notes of Hope

Some days you just feel lost. You don't want to talk to anyone. You just want to sit alone and think about yourself. You feel alone in spite of having people to talk to.

Sometimes you randomly smile looking at chats or pictures of your loved ones. And the next moment you cry remembering all the times you have lost over the years. Nothing might have gone wrong but you would still feel that 'you are not enough.

You will start to overthink everything you have done or said until now. You would start questioning your own choice of people, career and life. At this point, you would cry even on the smallest thing. You would feel life isn't treating you right.

But just remember,maybe this is life's way to bring you up. Trust yourself. Life isn't always so cruel. Maybe sometimes it's just you who isn't ready to face what's coming up next. What if you are not in a good place to move forward? What if you keep holding onto things which don't matter and lose out on the better things?

Calm down, breathe and then step forward. Tell yourself you can do it. Talk to people. Healing might take time, it might be difficult but if you try, you will realize the healing process has made you stronger than before.

Birthday Blues

All the characters in this post are not fictional. It has some or the other relation with all living or dead persons. This is inspired by me and my friends. If there is any similarity with any living or dead person in it, then it has been done very thoughtfully. Because I often write what my heart loves. You should also do the same..

Every year at the onset of November, I am on the fence.

Birthdays have never been a runway event for me. I have no memory of waiting for the clock to strike 12. I am also not guilty of counting the number of Facebook posts on the days that follow.My simple middle-class parents made the day as glittery as they could and were highly supportive when I wanted to give eclairs instead of mango bite as a return gift one year.

Few random thoughts I have on my Birthday...

Why is there so much pressure on a single day to be perfect? Why is this day an excuse for people to reconnect who have been ignoring me just fine?
How unexpectedly my equation with most people changes within one year.
How each year I continue to grow up, realize how fickle crowded parties and wild celebrations are.The adrenaline rush I got when I was 10 at the thought of having a fancy birthday party continues to diminish as grow older.
No matter how my life currently is, some people are just forever kind.
Introspection of my progress since the previous year.I cheer myself on for all that I achieved and motivating myself to keep doing better. I appreciate myself for strongly getting through all that life threw at me while being slightly bummed out that my special day is now 356 days away. Indeed, I look forward to facing all that life throws at me with a smile on my face and vigour in my heart.

Happy Birthday to the ones who can hear the echo of what is still left unsaid in these words.

Things I want to get better at.

i. Being a person. I mean, at this point I do not suppose I am a day person or a night person, just being a person works for now.

ii. Not forgetting the song I was obsessing over a week back.

iii. Making lists and following them.

iv. Letting go.(I still can't) I am the kind of person who wants to hold on to people even if they don't want me in their life.

v. Being real and sharing my lows as much as I share my highs, we are all in this together(I guess).

vi. Not watching the same movie\series every time I have some time and start watching something else.

vii. Feeling loved. For the longest time, I had my walls up high but feeling loved is a feeling that everyone deserves.

viii. Giving myself the margin of being human. Often, we go so hard on ourselves, but we forget that it's okay to be flawed.

ix. Getting out of the blanket in winters and being productive.

x. Saying 'no' and 'it's not okay' to people, saved the toughest one for the end. :")

Trying to Ryhme

Sitting at my desk,

My keyboard, I am typing .. I am deleting... Come on words, come on now, Flow, like what they call poetry.

I need to finish this poem,

Its been a while I wrote one.

(..or I posted one)

Atleast give me something to write about, A thought, a prompt...

Should I write about her?

Hello??

Argh!

Come on brain, come on now!

Even if I get the thoughts what If I cant rhyme for godsake!

What are the basics? The second and the fourth should rhyme,

Wait rhyme doesn't rhyme with much, Should I end with Dime time... slime? (That makes no sense)

Why is it so difficult?

It's should be a child's play!

Match the syllables to the alphabet and start, Alay blay clay dlay elay flay? (Am I really that dense?)

I'm wondering if I should push myself this hard?

So I wanted to say this on everyone's behalf. Somethings in life can be tough to crack, But that doesn't mean you leave it halfway.

If you started something, go finish it, If not right now, then when?

. . .

Inspired from The Struggles of Writing Poetry

Introverts & Heartbreaks

As they say every coin has two sides, so why not post this part as well!

In case you haven't read, When an Introvert Falls in Love 💕

It’s not easy for an introvert to fall in love. Our mind's little universe is already occupied with so many thoughts. We are already so content with self that it takes someone really special to make us feel that we need you in our life.

We take a lot of time before making friends with anyone,We don't let people enter in our world easily. So if we are so selective in case of friendship, choosing someone special is certainly hard for us.We take time adjusting with people, and if we do get comfortable with you; trust me you are special, not everyone around gets the same treatment.

We are complicated human beings. We love our space, freedom, loneliness but that doesn’t mean we always want to be alone. We too love our share of happy moments, possessiveness, hugs and things everyone want.

So, yes when Heartbroken or rejected we too feel depressed, pained, awful and all the things anyone would feel or more…

I am saying more because being an introvert it is hard to express for us in the first place. We cannot share our feelings with anyone else and our words and feelings are always left unsaid and unexpressed.We just don't want others to take care of us. We try to handle things by ourselves.

It’s tough, tougher than you think.

We have a very small world,though very interesting but very small world.When we express our love its like you have been always there in that small world of ours for forever. When rejected suddenly the person is nowhere.Its like collapsing friendship, family island from movie “Inside Out”. The sad part is though rejected we will not complain. We will not tell anybody and also we will not let anybody.

We lose faith in everyone who comes around. Well not your fault and we don't blame you, it was us who gave it completely to you, and when one fine day you leave, it breaks us down. We try our best to be focused. No matter how hard it is for us, but once you ask us not to contact , we'll try our best about not doing so.

We cry too, a lot,but only to ourselves. We stay indoors, alone, with maybe some watching movies or just online, sharing memes.We may cry ourselves to sleep every night and next morning we may wake up as if nothing has happened. The worst part is we will will act like nothing has happened in front of other people because we want to save ourselves the hassle to tell others about our life.

We build a even firmer wall around us and delve ourselves into reading or writing or somehow trying to express our feelings about these topics and will often get engrossed in those jobs so as to form a strict and ever lasting belief in some concepts which might not be broken easily.

Dear Future Self

A letter to my Future Self,

Hi! Hoping that you are doing well there, I'm writing this letter to you and somehow I feel like this letter is long overdue.

How is everyone doing there? I am curious about you! And have some questions that I want to ask you. Do you still write down those feelings when you are unable to express them? I know I used to and always do it from time to time, but do you? Or have you just started to ignore them, as you are in the rat race to succeed? hope you do write those unexpressed emotions, to let yourself all out on those white notes.

Are you still just as reckless and clumsy as I am? Or have you matured with time? I somehow want you to and not to at the same time, as I wish you keep the child inside alive and do all kinds of things people tend to forget to do as they grow up.

Hey, what about your job? Did you manage to get that dream job of yours? Are you adjusting well in the new and unfamiliar atmosphere?Don't back away from speaking your mind.

That Solo trip you planned to travel all over India in trains, have you accomplished it yet?

And I have saved the most critical question for the end of the letter, are you happy? And not just that fake for everyone's sake' wala happy. I'm talking about real happiness. Have you found it? And if not, are you making efforts towards it? Because I know all the hurdles you have gone through before and many more you are going through now. But just remember, despite everything going on, start making yourself happy.Don't mind other people's opinions because I know you are much better than you give credit to yourself.

So start making little 'me' times in your schedules. Accomplish all set goals and make way for new ones. But above all, stay happy, healthy and become all you want to be.

Love,

Your Younger Self

Being an Introvert is a Good Thing

"You don't talk much, do you?"

"You have got lot of attitude"

If I got a one rupee coin every-time a person asked me why I am so reserved I could have been a millionaire by now!

"The less people you chill with, the less bullshit you have to deal with."

I guess this is the fundamental principle most introverts live by.

Being an introvert does not equate to shyness or asocial behavior. Those are two very different things. It simply means that the quantity of the social interaction an introvert prefers is significantly less.That being said, a few things introverts might (again, depends on the person) like to do in order to recharge include reading, writing, painting, listening to music, cooking or any hobby that one can pursue in solitude (or even sleeping!)

Extroverts usually have a very wide circle of friends. However many of the people they count as friends are really just casual acquaintances.
Introverts, on the other hand, tend to form deep, strong bonds with a few carefully selected people. As a result, they create long-lasting relationships with friends who adore them— even if they never return their phone calls.

Introverts care about what other people say, so they tune into the conversation with every ounce of their being. They look you in the eye, and make sure you have finished what you have to say before responding. They talk less than they listen.

I (and hopefully we) worry a lot about how I present myself to other people. Boy, do I worry. I try to express my thoughts clearly and concisely, I try not to look nervous. I want my hair to be perfect, I want my clothes to look neat, and I want to pass off as normal and unnoticed. But in the end, I end up speaking gobbledegook, my hair becomes a train wreck, my clothes actually crumple due to the constant fussing over it.

Introverts are too soft, too vulnerable with their feelings.And yes, most of them won't make the first move. They won't approach first, how much ever love-sick they are.We generally never let anyone come close to their heart. But if an introvert starts talking to you, starts expressing you that is a clear sign that the person is interested in you. At times, you need to understand them a little more because they can’t express their feelings most of the times. Even if they want you with all their heart, at times they can’t say it.

Before they realize, they are waiting for your calls. They try to keep the conversations going, but are terrible at it.They want to stop you, they want to resist you every bit, cause they know you have the capacity to affect them like no one else. And yet, you are there, painting their small, dimly lit world into all sorts of bright rainbow colors. .

We all dream of having a partner with whom we can just talk about everything and nothing for hours on end. Someone who listens and really understands what is in your heart.This is one of the introvert’s superpowers. They love to listen and if you’re having a bad day or are homesick, you know who can make you feel better.

Introverts are not looking to be the center of attention.While they will likely run and hide when their name is called, you can be assured that when you step off the stage, they’ll be the ones cheering the loudest.

Introverts can't get things out if their heads. They only feel satisfied when they have spent ample time analyzing and recollecting the conversation they just had .
As an introvert I often envy people who can just toss off things from their heads and move on , which for me seems to be a herculian task!!
Whenever I feel like " I should let this go" , my mind exclaims " what??? You have not given enough thought about it, so how the hell can you let the issue get out from your mind?"

Also, fun fact: In parties/gatherings, we also tend to think one of two thoughts everytime: “Please come talk to me!” and “Why are you coming towards me? Go away!”

In a nutshell, introverts stress out a lot most of the time over the fear of being judged and end up being really awkward to be around.

For the benefit of those who feel I should be less anti-social, accommodating, interactive, apologetic or tolerant, here is what I am, as accurately as I can put it.